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I Should Be the President of IBM

I Should Be the President of IBM

Kathleen Byars | November 20, 2016

I should be the President of IBM. No offense, Ginni Rometty, but that’s what my mom said.

It all started innocently enough. At the tender age of three, I was riding in the front seat (!!) of mom’s bright-turquoise Oldsmobile Plymouth bored out of my mind. I was too little to see out of the window, too little to read a book, and the iPad had yet to be invented. As I slipped and slid all over the turquoise, vinyl bench seat, I discovered a row of turquoise colored buttons along the door. They didn’t have a purpose other than to add a touch of decor – and to stimulate the mind of a bored little girl. As I sized up those tiny little buttons, I discovered something that would change the course of my life.

Three plus four equals seven.

Stunning…I know!

I told mom about my discovery and she nearly drove off the road. Apparently it’s a pretty rare thing for a three year old to understand math. The next thing I know my parents are announcing my genius to the world. By age six I’ve had my IQ tested and that unleashes years of debate as my parents anguish over whether to skip me a grade ahead in school or keep me with my age-level peers.

All I really cared about was soccer and Barbie dolls.

I was growing up in the 1970s and back then women didn’t hold many high level positions. My mom had a short-lived career as a bookkeeper, which was pretty outrageous for her day. Upon marrying my dad she quit her job, of course, to keep house.

Mom never went to college, and despite the fact she was incredibly intelligent, she always regretted her lack of education. In mom’s mind she was less important than those who were college educated.

It was a sign of the times and mom wore her insecurity on her sleeve.

Thus it is no wonder that mom always told me:

“Honey, you can do anything you want when you grow up…someday, you’ll be the President of IBM.”

If I had a dime for every time I heard mom say those words to me…well, you know what I mean. I heard those words A LOT.

And growing up in an era where women were transitioning from 1950s stepford wives to 1970s bra-burning feminists made it pretty clear to me I was supposed to be SOMEBODY SUCCESSFUL.

I can’t say I grew up inspired by feminists, but I do remember my mother impressing upon my sister and I that we were NOT to grow up to become housewives. Instead, we were to set our aspirations higher and become independent women capable of taking care of ourselves and standing on our own two feet.

I grew up thinking I would someday become a business executive. In fact, I don’t remember ever thinking I could do anything else.

Have you ever felt the same way?

In college, all of my friends knew exactly what they wanted to do. Doctors, lawyers, software engineers. I just wanted to be a business person. In my mind, the only way to have a good life was to succeed in business. Make my bosses proud. Make sacrifices for my company. Demonstrate my loyalty and do the right thing.

And I did exactly that. I got a great job, worked extremely hard, and climbed the corporate ladder. Until one day, I looked around and realized something poignant.

I had climbed the corporate ladder, but instead of arriving at a place of freedom and success, I had climbed inside a gilt-edged box; trapped by the comforts of my life and exhausted by the pace – and lack of control — that went along with it.

Yet, dammit, I was supposed to be a corporate executive. It was the only destiny I had ever known. How do you quit the only world that is familiar to you? Deep in the recesses of my mind, I was scared to leave my glamorous, gilded cage. Leaving it, ultimately meant I had failed. I was walking away from a good life and that meant I was ungrateful. I couldn’t cut it. I wasn’t strong enough.

And I would never become the President of IBM.

That reality took a long time for me to come to terms with. I mean, you gotta admit Ginni Rometty, is pretty dang important. And her job is powerful. And prestigious.

As I wrestled with my ego, it occurred to me that maybe I was valuing myself all wrong. Maybe I was valuable – and worthy of love – not because of WHAT I do, but because of WHO I am.

Sounds pretty basic, right?

Yet how many times in life are we rewarded for WHO we are? We get praised for bringing home an A+ in school. We are deemed to be extra-special if we get into an Ivy League university. We earn promotions and salary increases based on the results we produce at work.

Is it any wonder that it’s difficult to change course in life and step down from a successful life that most would envy for a more unconventional path that potentially goes against the grain?

But what if this alternate life give us unique opportunities to strengthen family bonds or even seek out new relationships? What if it gives us the opportunity to immerse ourselves inside a creative, fulfilling, passionate career wrought at our own hands? What if we can throw away the alarm clocks and meeting schedules and replace those with a fluid schedule whereby we work, eat, play, love, and have fun each and every day at our own chosen pace? And what if we can do all that and still be financially comfortable?

I don’t know about you, but when I think about life in this less conventional way, my ego lessens its grip just enough that the thought of becoming the President of IBM is a tad less appealing. And as I searched for the answers to build that unconventional life – a life on my own terms – one thing because amazingly clear.

Corporations don’t create gilded cages. They simply serve as a willing machine for those of us willing to be the cogs. Although I ultimately left the corporate world, I took my corporate mindset and frenetic habits with me. I may have been living on the beach, but I was still driving myself crazy jumping through impossible hoops in a never-ending attempt to fill a hole inside me.

And it wasn’t until I learned to fill that hole with a whole new way of thinking – and behaving – that I finally found the freedom that had alluded me for so long.

Ego is a crazy thing. And feeling important – and successful – feels good. Yet, I have to say that feeling free – well, it feels even better.


I believe we all have a bit of trailblazer inside us, don’t you? It’s my passion to help others create change. I’ve always found that disrupting the status quo leads to an amazing life where nothing is impossible.

If you think someone in your network could benefit from this article, please share!

Is Lack of Authenticity Killing Your Success?

Is Your Lack of Authenticity Killing Your Chances for Success?

Kathleen Byars | November 5, 2016

Are you struggling with growth in your business? Or perhaps you’ve come to a crossroads in your own life?

One minute things are on the upswing and you’re riding the wave. The next minute, you’re back in the trenches wondering how the heck you slipped backwards at all?

Your company enjoyed steady growth during those start-up years, yet now five years in, sales has become a daily struggle. Rather than reveling in your company’s progress, you’re dragging your business uphill inch-by-painful inch.

Or maybe your career took off right out of college and today you’ve reached a high-level of success. Yet, as you look around, life isn’t as meaningful as you thought it would be and you long for the freedom to control your own destiny.

I totally get it. I’ve experienced both. It’s arduous and painful. And for successful, driven, talented people – it’s totally baffling.

How can you be successful and suffering? What is the missing piece to the puzzle that you cannot seem to figure out?

Authenticity

In my experience, I’ve seen a lot of folks get blown off course because they don’t really understand their core purpose.

It certainly happened to me. Let me show you what I mean…

When you started your career you had a vision for what you would build. Yet, most likely that vision was wrapped around the type of work you wanted to do and financial success. That’s fine. It’s hard to focus on your core purpose if you’re starving.

As you go about building a career or a business, you talk to people and they get to know you and like you. You work hard, take care of problems, take risks and the result is growth.

Nice!

Yet, now decisions start to become more complex. You are no longer running door to door with your briefcase full of wares…you’ve got to attract customers en masse. And you’re no longer jostling for a simple promotion. Now you’re running a department full of employees and having to coordinate your success across functional area lines. You run from meeting to meeting with rarely a moment’s rest.

And in the process our decisions become clouded by the demands of life. If we’re not in touch with our true destiny, then it’s hard to abide by any guidelines except the constant pressure for success.

So how does authenticity come into play? Simple. Stop trying to be what you THINK you need to be and start being who you ARE.

Huh?

You stand for something. There is a cause, a purpose, an absolute truth inside each and every one of us. It’s your gift that you should be sharing with the world.

And when you start sharing your vision – that rich, human belief that’s deep inside of you… people who believe what you believe will automatically show up to listen. And share. And connect.

I promise.

When businesses call on me to help them with marketing, they’re stuck. They’ve tried all the traditional avenues and nothing has worked, or at least not for very long. These companies have hired ad agencies, freelancers, SEO specialists, and marketing coordinators and they can’t seem to move the needle. What gives?

They’ve forgotten who they are. Or maybe they never realized who they were in the first place.

In any case, the very first thing I do is help them get in touch with their core purpose. Their mission and values that are truly authentic – not a copywriter’s best imitation of what they think they should be. And then we choose the best channels and processes to announce that authentic purpose to the world.

Once that occurs a magnet effect springs to action. Internal staff members become aligned and ignited around a common mission. Customers wake up and take notice and begin following you and referring you to others. Tough business decisions become easier when measured against your purpose. And growth magically reappears. Happens every time.

It’s the same for individuals who are no longer finding joy in their lives. They’re stuck, too. They’ve tried rearranging their schedule, hired extra help, changed jobs, and taken a leave of absence. Yet, the heavy, gray haze of disillusionment remains. What gives?

They’ve forgotten who they are. Or maybe they never realized who they were in the first place.

Sound familiar?

So I help these folks get in touch with their core purpose. Once we begin to live authentically by our core beliefs… we start to THRIVE. We make effective decisions that lead us to greater joy. We learn to put up barriers when confronted with situations that don’t align with who we are. We become empowered by a renewed sense of self. And we take charge of our destiny and finally feel free.

It’s life-altering.

So who are you? Who is your authentic self? What is the legacy you will leave the world?

If you don’t know, find out. If you’re stuck take a look at my What’s Your Story article or give me a call. When you discover who you are you will no longer be stuck.

You’ll be thriving!


I believe we all have a bit of trailblazer inside us, don’t you? It’s my passion to help others create change. I’ve always found that disrupting the status quo leads to an amazing life where nothing is impossible.

If you think someone in your network could benefit from this article, please share!

 

 

What if Fear is the Only Thing Holding You Back?

What if Fear is the Only Thing Holding You Back?

Kathleen Byars | October 29, 2016

Do you remember the public service announcement This is Your Brain on Drugs? It shows a guy cracking an egg into a frying pan. The egg represents the brain. As the guy cracks the egg into the pan he quips, “This is Your Brain. This is Drugs. This is Your Brain on Drugs. Any Questions?”

I remember that commercial from my youth. The effect became really clear to me as I learned how to build the trailblazing life I always wanted. Except instead of “drugs,” I substitute the word “fear.” This is Your Brain. This is Fear. This is Your Brain on Fear. Any Questions?

If you’ve ever tried to make monumental changes in your life, you know it’s INCREDIBLY hard.

As business professionals, we instantly gravitate toward finding a strategy.

We try everything. We start a small business on the side. We blog, we network, we fancy writing a book. Yet, nothing seems to work. We desperately want someone to tap us on the shoulder and say “Here. Do THIS…” and viola, we find the perfect strategy that works.

Other times, we HAVE a strategy. We have clarity and know exactly what we want…but then FEAR reaches up and holds us back. Even the simplest things become difficult. So we retreat to our safe zone and rationalize why we can’t change our lives just yet.

It’s odd, but I have found that you can have the best, simplest, most amazing strategy in the world…

…but if you don’t overcome fear, doubt, and self-sabotage…you cannot build enough momentum to reach success.

And earning success on your own terms is AUDACIOUS. It’s scary as hell.

If you think this article might resonate with someone in your network, please share!

I’ve seen this ring true over and over again working with clients who are following a traditional path.They have tried all sorts of me-too methods for building success in their lives and businesses, yet they’re still struggling. And they are BONE TIRED.

I totally get it. I ran full speed on that hamster wheel for a LONG TIME, too.

So when my clients sit down with me for our very first consult and I ask them to do things DIFFERENTLY – and invite them to really re-consider their chosen strategies they are scared as hell.

The mind is a curious thing. In it’s effort to protect us, the mind can actually become our own enemy and prevent us from living the lives we want. Instead of enjoying meaningful, blossoming work we choose to keep our nose to the grindstone. Rather than building a flexible life that gives us the freedom to enjoy what is most precious to us, we compress our dearest moments into a few hours each night or weekend. Why the heck do we do this?

FEAR. Fear propels us into a FALSE sense of safety that is hiding under a lifetime of habits and deeply ingrained scripts. We don’t pause long enough to deal with those scripts so we just keep chugging – and hoping – that the perfect strategy will fall into our laps before we fall into the grave.

Think about it. How many of your current challenges are because you don’t KNOW something? How many are because you’re stuck in fear?

As successful corporate executives, business people, and members of the human race we have PROVEN over and over again that we know how to survive, overcome challenges, and build success. If you don’t believe me just look in the mirror. Think of all you have achieved to get where you are today!

Yet, that next step is a doozy – it’s the one that takes you off the beaten path into unknown territory. It’s the path of uncertainty, doubt, and FEAR.

Fear happens; it’s not your fault. We are all human. Yet once you know what is holding you back, then it’s up to you to do something about it.

The question is not, “What if I fail?” but, “What will I miss out on if I don’t do this?”

So what are you going to do about it? If you’re open to sharing, please tell us in the comments below!


I believe we all have a bit of trailblazer inside us, don’t you? It’s my passion to help others create change. I’ve always found that disrupting the status quo leads to an amazing life where nothing is impossible.

The Joy of Risk: What Cave Diving Taught Me

The Joy of Risk: What Cave Diving Taught Me

Kathleen Byars | October 23, 2016

Cave diving involves risk.

The magnitude of risk is quite high for those who lack preparation. Those who enter a cave without the necessary training are more likely to get lost, panic, and fail. If they’re lucky, they still get out alive.

However, those who plan properly, develop the requisite mindset, and consistently follow their training, mitigate the risk. These divers enjoy a lifetime of breathtaking dives.

I must say it is truly magnificent to float among million year old fossils forever cemented inside majestic cave walls.

Risk weighed heavily on my mind as I began my introductory cave diving course in 2003. Working in a high-stress, corporate environment I had gravitated to scuba diving for recreation. I found that the focus and concentration required underwater released me from the pressures I faced above the surface.

My instructor was recommended by a dive shop in Ponce de Leon, Florida. For those of you who have never been to North Florida it is nothing like what you see on Miami Vice re-runs. North Florida is wooded, becomes relatively cold in the winter, and sits atop a plateau of porous limestone karst.

Telford Springs Florida

North Florida is also riddled with world-class caves. Visitors travel here from all over the world to dive them.

Most cave diving begins from the back of a truck, instead of a boat. You drive to a wooded dive site, unpack your gear on the truck tailgate, suit up and carry a minimum of 88lbs (40kg) of gear on your back to a fresh water hole. Unlike ocean dives, cave diving isn’t pretty until you get inside.

As I embarked on my first cave dive, I realized there were no guarantees. Many an experienced technical diver balk at being inside a cave. And while I had an instructor to guide me, the responsibility for my fate was still my own.

There was no way for me to know if I would be successful until I gave it a try.

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.

-T.S. Elliot

Prior to entering the water, my instructor tried everything he could to confuse me. He was testing my mindset to make sure I stayed focused and followed my training.

He suggested we switch cave systems at the last minute. I didn’t go for it. He changed up our dive plan and demanded we take another underwater route. I told him no way. He then looked me in the eye and told me this might be the last breath of fresh air I ever take. Was I prepared for the risk I was about to take?

His last question rattled me good. Somehow, I managed to return his gaze and spat back, “While that may be true, there is only one way to find out.”

In truth, I didn’t feel so self-assured.

When a diver returns from a dive it’s customary to ask how the dive was. In cave diving, we say that every dive you return from is a good dive.

As I geared up for what I hoped would be the first of many “good” cave dives, we received word that a diver was missing. He had entered a cave system the night before and never returned. His wife had called the sheriff and by 8AM an experienced team of divers were gearing up to retrieve his body.

It was a tragic and horribly sad reminder of exactly the risk I was about to take.

Hands shaking, I began to gear up. Focus, Kate, focus. I put my light on upside down. Damn. Stop. Take a deep breath. Re-attach light. My mask kept fogging. I tried and tried to spit on the lens to clear it, but my mouth was too dry. I lost my dive fins. With 88lbs of gear on my back I began rummaging around the truck.

My instructor stood nearby, resting his gear on a picnic table. He calmly watched as I tried to pull it together.

Cave diving gear

Today, the entry to Wes Skiles Peacock State Park cave system boasts a handsome wooden boardwalk. Back when I was a cave diving trainee, the walk from the parking lot to the cave system consisted of a muddy trail. I lumbered down the path, careful to step over tree roots. I did not want to trip and fall. One misstep and I would be lying on my back like a helpless turtle, unable to extricate myself from my gear.

We reached the water’s edge and waited somewhat impatiently for exiting divers. Sweat trickled down my face. Mosquitos nipped at my exposed skin. I was burning up inside my 7mil wetsuit. I would be lying if I didn’t admit to having major second thoughts.

Finally, I took a giant stride into the cool spring water. I pulled open the neck of my wetsuit to allow water inside. I was anything but comfortable.

My first task was to confirm the dive plan. Next, we performed gear checks at the surface and a safety drill. I then sank below the water’s surface and tied off my primary reel to a rock. I made a secondary tie-off just inside the cave and then searched for the main line. Anytime you enter a cave system, you do so with a guide reel and tie the line from your guide reel to a permanent line that runs throughout the system. The permanent line serves as a visual guide to help divers navigate safely in and out of the cave.

Once I tied off my reel, I began the dive. The dark cave enveloped me as my 10W Halogen canister light struggled to light the surrounding blackness. Our dive plan was to enter Peanut tunnel, a shallow, narrow tunnel with depths from 20 to 60 feet. At approximately 500 feet penetration we would end the dive and head back to the surface. My job was to lead the way and remember to turn the dive at our agreed-upon penetration.

As we swam deeper into the cave system, I waited for my instructor to haze me. Typically, the skills required for a first cave dive are dive planning, safety drills, hand signals and reel tie-offs. The more advanced drills such as lights out, lost diver, and lost line aren’t presented until later.

Yet, my instructor loved hazing his students. I had watched as he tormented students in previous classes where I was just an observer.

Would my instructor swim up behind me and remove a fin? Would he shut one of my tank valves and prevent me from getting air to imitate a failure? Would he rip my mask and render me blind as I fumbled for my spare mask?

My heart was racing as I worried about what lie ahead. Kick, glide, worry. Kick, glide, worry. I was unable to enjoy the dive. I waited and waited and waited to fail.

Finally, we reached the 500 feet mark. Yes! As I signaled to my instructor to turn the dive, he swam up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder. He shined his dive light onto his hands and then formed his fingers into the shape of a triangle. Puzzled, I looked blankly back at him. I could not recall this hand signal from my training. My instructor chuckled and repeated the gesture, this time shining his light along the cave wall. Clueless and frustrated, I gave him the thumbs up signal and called the dive.

If you think this article might resonate with someone in your network, please share!

When a diver gives the thumbs up signal you don’t discuss it. You end the dive. My instructor turned around and began leading us out. I suffered the entire journey back to the surface. What had the hand signal meant? Why didn’t I remember this from my training? Rattled and unsure of myself, I was certain I must have failed.

At the cave entrance I picked up my primary reel and slowly surfaced. Unable to control the mental strain any longer, I blurted out, “What in the heck was that strange hand signal for?” Surprised at my agitation, my instructor smiled. “It was nothing. I was just trying to point out a beautiful fossil encrusted in the cave wall. I wanted your first dive to be truly memorable.”

Damn.

Here I was pushing past the boundaries of anything I ever imagined I would do. I was learning the mindset required to embrace risk, yet rather than congratulate myself on my progress, I was beating myself up for the one small mistake I assumed I had made.

And in the process, I had missed out on experiencing what was surely a beautiful dive.

Everything you want is on the other side of fear. – Jack Canfield

Fortunately, life isn’t a one-chance ride. We get lots of opportunities for do-overs. And that’s exactly what I did. I survived, literally and figuratively, the hazing of my first cave instructor and earned my introductory cave diving certification. I then moved to the BVIs.

And in the process, I began to understand what it takes to create a life worth living.

Risk is terrifying. It’s uncomfortable. And when faced with risk the easiest path is to hide and run away. It would have been much easier for me to stay home and continue with my life as it was. Yet facing fear, and overcoming discomfort, is exactly what leads to an extraordinary life.

It would take me some years to dial in this process, but once I understood there is a process, it was only a matter of time before I honed it to achieve the life I wanted.

And although a life with less risk is certainly a life with less pain, it is also a life with less joy. Less passion. Less meaning.

I believe passionately in the words of Jack Canfield. Building an extraordinary life isn’t about playing it safe. Instead, we must face our fears.

PS: Cave diving is perceived as one of the most deadly sports in the world. Yet, the vast majority of divers who have lost their lives in caves have either not undergone specialized training or failed to follow the strict training guidelines. It is believed that the diver who lost his life the morning of my dive had changed medications and suffered an epileptic seizure underwater. A placard was placed in his memory inside the park. I always look for it and think of him whenever I return to the site of my very first cave dive.


I believe we all have a bit of trailblazer inside us, don’t you? It’s my passion to help others create change. I’ve always found that disrupting the status quo leads to an amazing life where nothing is impossible.

3 Mindset Shifts That Helped Me Redefine the Good Life

3 Mindset Shifts that Helped Me Redefine The Good Life

Kathleen Byars | October 15, 2016

Changing our life mid-stream is SCARY.

And what holds us back is fear. Except we don’t know it. We are conditioned to live life according to a generalized idea of success – so much so that any alternative concepts are challenging to wrap our minds around.

We cling to the notion of a fully-funded 401k. Our think our kids will have a diminished shot at success unless they attend good schools. And if we don’t have the best health insurance a catastrophic event may be just around the corner. The list goes on and on.

I must admit that  financial security and a little bit of creature comfort is kind of nice. Right now I am “jonesing” for a new couch. Nothing wrong with that.

And conventionally, the only way we know how to acquire health insurance, college funds, and retirement assets is to get a good job, work hard, and save our money.

And the LAST THING any of us want to do once we have acquired this security is to simply LET GO for some frivolous notion of living a life of our dreams.

Dreams can wait. Right now it’s time be responsible and do the “right” thing.

That’s what I thought anyway.

Now keep in mind, I was a trailblazing executive. A highly successful marketer. I was smart, successful, capable, strong. I had a reputation for creating success and mitigating failure. Why the hell couldn’t I create the life I wanted?

I also felt immensely guilty for not appreciating what I had.

SO WHAT WAS HOLDING ME BACK? FEAR.

What if you can’t make it on your own? What if the new job is worse than the old one? What if you lose your house? What if you have to move? What if your children can’t go to a good school? What if you have to live off of your retirement fund?

The list is endless.

So we stay put and dream about all the amazing things we hope to do someday down the road.

And we are more than slightly irked by the latest news story of the kid who went from nothing to a zillion dollar lifestyle with his internet business.

I must admit those stories made me jealous.

Until I decided to stop reading those stories and create my own success story. I mean, there is only so much lamenting a trailblazing girl can take until it’s time to get a move on, right?

As you may know, it took me TEN YEARS to get a clue. If you count the time I left the corporate life to the time I started living a life that I had always dreamed of it was EXACTLY ten years. I read countless books, did stupid stuff that made me absolutely no money, gave up precious time with my children, and then I FINALLY stopped getting in my own way and built a life that was just right for me.

Here is what I learned that made all the difference:

WHEN OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS, ANSWER THE DAMN DOOR

Learning to take risks was probably the hardest one for me. Whether we realize it or not, most of our lives are pre-planned. If you’ve followed the basic “grow up, go to school, go to college, get a good job, be a high performer, make good money, get promoted” then you’ve pretty much done what most of us expect to do. Sure there are some twists and turns along the way, but nothing out of the realm of normal. As long as we are following this path we feel safe.

Yet, creating a life on your own terms is not like that at all. There isn’t a generally accepted model to follow. The rest of the world isn’t cheering you on. You’ve got to trust yourself and grab opportunity when it knocks at your door.

That’s scary as hell.

Here is just one example. In 2013 my husband and I decided to create passive income through real estate. We had only bought two homes our entire lives and had a lot to learn. I did some homework and hired a local realtor.

One night I was searching Zillow and noticed a $15k price drop on a home. It was 4am and I emailed my realtor that I wanted to go look at it. At 6am I emailed again. At 9am I met the realtor at the house. There were water stains on the ceiling, a hole in the chimney, cracked tile and broken sub-flooring. Plus mold. Lots of mold. I saw that mess and had no idea how to repair it. And only a rough idea of what it would cost. To make the situation even more stressful, my husband was out of town.

I called Scott and told him I wanted to make an offer. He agreed. By 10:30am our offer was submitted and by 5pm our offer was accepted.

I had just made a $73,000 investment decision in a matter of hours.

And here’s the kicker. The bank refused to finance a loan. So I refused to give up.

WHEN OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS YOU DON’T TIPTOE. YOU GO ALL OUT.

Which is exactly what I did. I cracked open my precious 401k and paid cash for that house. I paid a $15k penalty to the IRS and put another $12k into repairs. That was three and a half years ago. Today, the home, the penalty and the repairs have been totally recouped. We’ve earned over $58k in revenue-to-date and $80k in market value.

If I had waited to make that offer, the home would have been gone. There was a line of investors waiting right behind me.

Over and over again life presents us with opportunities. We tell ourselves maybe later. We keep shopping for a better deal. We pencil ourselves a note to do some research and make a more educated decision down the road. That’s conventional thinking and it holds us back.

The truth is we’re all scared. So we quickly rationalize our fears with these practical excuses.

I was a hamster spinning on a treadmill until I learned how to embrace risk and break out of this mindset.

CHASE ABUNDANCE. DON’T FEAR SCARCITY.

I could, and should, write an entire article on this topic. For now, let me just say that creating a life on your own terms is not possible if you cling to the notion that opportunities are scarce.

It took me a looooooooong time to understand this (I cannot possibly add enough “o’s” to justify just how hard this was for me). In order to have the lifestyle I wanted, I thought I had to work for someone else.

And I didn’t realize that I could create multiple income streams without an exponential increase in workload.

Most of all, I didn’t believe I could create scalable business models that supported my passions.

I shied away from what was possible because I had a scarcity mentality. I was raised to save money, not spend it. I believed money had to be kept for a rainy day. And I thought if I lost money, I could never regain it.

I was wrong.

I HAD TO LEARN HOW TO CREATE FINANCIAL ABUNDANCE AROUND MY LIFE, INSTEAD OF A LIFE AROUND MY INCOME.

Contrary to conventional thinking, life doesn’t have to revolve around your paycheck. When you create a life built on passion and purpose, you learn how to create income around that lifestyle.

IGNORE THE INFLUENCERS

If you’re a successful businessperson, you didn’t get there by following the pack. Yet, when it comes to stepping away from the status quo, we are easily spooked by the world around us.

Parents, friends, and colleagues tell us that we should feel lucky for what we’ve got. They tell us we’re nuts for walking away from a good life. Even if no one tells us this directly, we still believe it because we have been raised in a society that places hard work, big titles, nice houses, and those capable of that type of success on a pedestal. Why would you ever jump off that pedestal?

While I have these naysayers in my own life, I am careful how much influence they have on my mood. I am quick to throw up boundaries when the conversation gets judgmental. I also surround myself with a healthy tribe of like-minded trailblazers who totally get what I do.

TAKE ACTION

If you take away ONE THING from this article, I hope it’s this:

Embracing change doesn’t mean sacrificing a hard-earned life. It’s when you learn to let go and stop thinking conventionally that you actually begin to flourish and realize your dreams.

Although I was a trailblazer in many ways, I had to learn how to relinquish my false sense of control.

As a result, I now have a life that I love. Where family, friends, and business are all intertwined and none take more precedent than the other. Some days I work a lot. Some days I play a lot. It’s hard to tell because I enjoy what I do so much that the lines between work and play are mightily blurred.

If you find yourself stuck, I hope you try resetting your thinking and see if your mindset may be standing in the way.


I believe we all have a bit of trailblazer inside us, don’t you? It’s my passion to help others create change. I’ve always found that disrupting the status quo leads to an amazing life where nothing is impossible.

If you think this article might resonate with someone in your network, please share!

How to Leave the Corporate World and Live Successfully

How to Leave the Corporate World and Live Successfully

Kathleen Byars | October 8, 2016

99% of the fears most people have about leaving the corporate world to create a more fulfilling life are flawed.

And if you follow that same thinking you’re likely to jump from the corporate frying pan into the entrepreneurial fire. Or worse, you’ll stay chained to the corporate desk until retirement. I’ve lost count of how many people who have told me “I’m going to leave the corporate world, but I can’t just yet…” And it’s (usually) because they’re clinging to a false sense of security.

Preparing to leave the perceived stability of a corporate career for a life built on your own terms isn’t about the trade off between financial security and happiness. Because you don’t have to sacrifice financial means at all. You can have your cake and eat it, too!

I didn’t understand this when I left my skyrocketing executive career at the age of thirty-four to go live on an island. And I spent hundreds of thousands of dollars in lost income and many years figuring it out.

Here’s the bottom line: forget about starting over and working for peanuts while you build your own business. That’s flawed thinking. While building a successful business may be fulfilling, if you start from scratch you lifestyle would take a bit hit. That sucks. You’ve come too far in life to scrap your success and start anew. And forget about taking a sabbatical with the understanding that someday you’ll have to return to the grind. Why? Life should never be a grind.

The good news is that living life on your own terms, contrary to popular belief, does not have to wait until the kids are grown.

Instead, you’ve got to THINK DIFFERENTLY about what is possible. No, I don’t mean that you just need to do some meditation and visioning (although that helps). You need to RECOGNIZE that you have the ability to leap without starting over. You need to have CLARITY about what exactly you are capable of creating for yourself and your family. The reality is that it is MUCH GREATER than you think. And you need to set yourself up for success NOW so when you pull the ripcord you’ve got a solid game plan already in motion.

  1. Understand why you are leaving. Do you want to be creative and build your own company? Or will that simply trade one stressful environment for another? Maybe you’ll find more fulfillment in becoming a sought-after public speaker or an exclusive, high-paid consultant.
  2. Clarify what else in your life may be missing. Are you tired of only seeing your family at night and on the weekends? I bet you have skills and talents that can be marketed at scale to free you up for more family time, while simultaneously providing a comfortable income.
  3. Clearly define your passion. Even if you’ll be your own boss, you don’t want just another job. In order to create a sustainable financial situation that supports a fulfilling life, you’ve got to make sure that you are totally passionate about what you’ll be doing and also ensure that your passion aligns with the rest of your life goals.
  4. Lay the groundwork now. Rather than jumping off the cliff in a few years time, share your passion with the world now. Become known for it. Write about it. Share articles about it. Become “that guy/girl” who is the definitive expert on “X” and you’ll have a tribe of raving fans waiting for you when you take the leap.

Do this and you won’t think twice about creating change in your life. You will have such clarity and confidence that you will wonder why you didn’t redefine your life sooner.

But if you cling to the notion that the corporate life is a safety net you’ll never get there. That two-year time horizon you’ve slated as your “future departure date” will morph into four-years. Then six, then eight. Before you know it you are facing retirement and still not sure what life is all about. Maybe you’ll play golf. Or travel. Visit the grand-kids. All very enjoyable indeed. Yet, what you’ll never experience is creating a life on your own terms.

Think about that. An exciting, limitless life where you and your family can revel in the world you create. Where you can live the life of your dreams now before old age, poor health, and time catch up with you.

It’s entirely possible. I did it. You can, too.

One of the most poignant emails I’ve ever received was from a businessman who wrote, “Kate, I don’t want to die in a cubicle!”

I totally get that. And you don’t have to.


If you want to make the transition from working behind a desk to redefining your life call me and we’ll sort out the steps you need to do just that.Click here to schedule a free callCheers!

If you think this article might resonate with someone in your network, please share!